November Mediation Musings

Workplace Conflict: You need more tools in your tool bag

Ugh I have to go to work. 

Thank god Its Friday. 

No one died wanting more days at work.

Our culture is full of all kinds of negative messages about work and working. Here on the Vineyard we would all like to be happily following our passions and living the dream. But the reality for many is that work is stressful and depleting.

Its not the conflicts that one successfully resolves that eat away at us. We are likely proud of our efforts when we solve a conflict. We likely see the result as an accomplishment. Resolved conflicts can build us up and make us feel strong enough to face the next challenge.

It’s the ones that got away, the arguments left unfinished, the patterns that never change, the unaddressed unfairness, the interpersonal difficulties never settled. These are the conflicts that make us miserable at work. If you ever stayed up at night chewing over a work situation and dreaded the morning alarm, unresolved conflict may be the explanation. 

MVMP has been working to help. In partnership with the Chamber of Commerce and Oak Bluffs Library we are now presenting our sixth of seven 2019 lunchtime workplace conflict workshops. Upcoming is Toxic Workplaces on November 14 and Team building on December 12. We will probably repeat the series in the spring.

We also offer a course on workplace conflict that meets weekly. On Tuesday mornings, a cohort of managers and supervisors meet in a private ongoing course to discuss a professional conflict management text and offer each other suggestions and ideas about handling workplace conflicts. This group will complete their ten sessions in December. Participants earn a certificate in workplace conflict management. The next course will be offered for new members at the end of January.

Knowledge about how to analyze conflict, manage emotions and use effective dispute resolution tools can help all of us. We spend so much of our time at work and yet most of us don’t have enough strategies to effectively resolve conflicts. MVMP is honored to be able to offer some assistance for community members. It is our hope that our efforts will help to make Martha’s Vineyard a happier more productive place—a place where our work lives can be a component of ‘living the dream.’

Sara Barnes,

President and Lead Mediator

October Mediation Musings

Conflict Resolution Day: Every Day at MVMP

 Sara Barnes,

President and Lead Mediator

October 17, 2019 is a worldwide celebration of Conflict Resolution Day. In Massachusetts the legislature has declared the week of October 14-18 Conflict Resolution Week.

Everyday is conflict resolution day at Martha’s Vineyard Mediation Program. Here are a few happenings from last week. 

·       Working on the Youth Mediation Program—creating partnerships with a youth organization so our mediators have a confidential setting for mediation services.

·       Answering inquiries from numerous individuals and organizations who are seeking mediation, facilitation or conflict coaching services.

·       Interacting with various divorcing couples and our in-house lawyer who prepares the court packets, in order to finalize divorce documents.

·       Workplace conflict session #2 with a cohort of supervisors and managers who are working their way through a published conflict management text.

·       Preparation of our quarterly reports to the offices of the Attorney General, District Court, Probate/Family Court and Massachusetts Office of Public Collaboration.

·       Discussion with a sister mediation organization in order to consider a partnership on a complicated project.

·       Preparation for the twice-yearly Introduction to Mediation course fielding inquiries and preparing materials.

·       Drop by from a friend of the organization who was thinking about getting involved in MVMP.

·       Meeting of the Conflict Coaches to develop their campaign to promote this free service for Martha’s Vineyard residents.

Sometimes we feel like we are in a tiny boat paddling hard against prevailing winds that push in the opposite direction. Your support and belief in our mission—to encourage and assist all residents of Dukes County to resolve conflicts through mediation and other constructive dispute resolution tools—keeps us afloat.  

On October 17 we will celebrate Conflict Resolution Day, joining with thousands across the globe who take one day to lift up the notions that conflict resolution is the way forward toward peace and understanding. Add this one on to your list of holidays. Celebrate with MVMP.

September Mediation Musings

At least one, if not all of our principles: Confidentiality, Voluntariness, Neutrality and Self-Determination; function as guide stars for each service we offer. It's good to have principles to hold on to when we do mediation, facilitation, conflict coaching or educational work. These principles unite our organization and provide us with shared core values.

Communicate Carefully might well be considered another one of our principles because we know that successful practitioners in the conflict resolution field are precise and thoughtful in their communication. Choosing the right word or phrase, listening carefully, matching cadence and tone, being aware of how messages can be put in a more effective way, studying language and usage-- all are ways we can become more expert communicators. I found this article to be a great read in this regard. I hope you enjoy it and learn from it as I have. 

Will we see you at one of our many upcoming activities? Workplace conflict is a big focus for the coming months. The Youth Project continues with two videos being edited and mediation services for youth now available with our newly trained Youth Mediators. The Introduction to Mediation course begins on October 3. We are, as usual, providing conflict resolution services to individuals and organizations as we continue to serve our community. We are scheduling into November and December now because we are so busy!

Thanks for your great support for our work.

Sara Barnes, President MVMP