Turn accusations, even if you're certain your conclusion is correct, into anopen and sincere question. Without much change in vocabulary, this simple tweak is an effective technique* toward positive conflict resolution.

Think of people you admire: a leader, a mentor, someone you respect. What do all these people have in common? Likely, they are good at the skill, art, craft, and science of listening. If you want to be respected, stop talking and start listening -- and not pretend listen -- genuine, appreciative and open-minded listening.