“Mediation gave me a voice . . . I was able to speak for myself in an environment where my family was encouraged to try to come up with positive constructive solutions that everyone could buy into. We were able to listen to each other instead of just reacting as we have for so many years.” This sentiment is shared by many participants who avail themselves of elderly mediation and productive conversations services.
Most families have developed conflict resolution methods with minimal consideration or training. “We do what was done to us.” Generational attitudes of avoidance, aggression, and/or shaming/blaming persist in many families. As the older generation ages and transitional decisions must be made among extended family members, ineffective conflict methodologies and historical practices impede productive conversations. MV Mediation can provide neutral, confidential, and professional services to help participants have productive conversations.
We are often approached by a family member who is interested in resolving an issue involving grown siblings and aging parents. They may be interested in mediation services to focus on a specific set of issues, for example around elder care or estate planning. Mediation can be an empowering process for family members willing and able to openly discuss matters and collaboratively resolve conflict, especially around dynamics of family caregiving.
In other cases, a family may be interested in facilitation services to deepen their understanding of approaches to conflict resolution and to consider their family conflict resolution history from the varied perspectives of the family member participants. This involves a shared and guided process with the goal of mutuality. The family is then introduced to various conflict resolution tools and collaboratively establishes best practices for decision-making, problem solving, and approaching difficult life decisions. If needed, the mediator assists with formalized mediation sessions as well as referrals to agencies with specialized support services.
Reach out to us to learn more about Elderly & Aging Mediation and Productive Conversations services.
Here is a recent post from Crystal Thorpe from Elder Decisions
Many of us . . . help others deal with conflict more effectively, and yet, conversations in our own families can be especially difficult. Arline Kardasis and I had the pleasure of talking with Sam Fuqua and Alexis Miles on a recent episode of Well, That Went Sideways! about Elder Conflict. Tune in to hear case examples and tips for increasing understanding and communication when dealing with challenging family conversations around transitions related to aging. Check out the interview on Well, That Went Sideways! https://www.sidewayspod.org/episodes-1/episode/24982de2/s3e2-elder-conflict
Below is a link to the “We Need to Talk” online seminar mentioned in the interview. This free seminar is produced by AARP and based on information created jointly by the Hartford and the MIT AgeLab, and can “help you determine how to assess your loved ones’ driving skills and provide tools to help you have this important conversation.” https://www.aarp.org/auto/driver-safety/we-need-to-talk/
Finally, note . . . Sunday, April 16, is [was] National Healthcare Decisions Day. Now is a great time to start conversations within our own families — to do advance care planning, regardless of age, before a health crisis. Additional resources are here:
The Conversation Project: theconversationproject.org/nhdd/
Five Wishes: www.fivewishes.org/nhdd/
Here’s to good conversations ahead….
Warmly,
Crystal