Honeysuckle scent, sleeping late, warm days with no schedule, corn on the cob, fireflies. These describe my childhood memories of June freedom. I grew up in the Northeast of the United States, where the summer season was eagerly awaited throughout the cold and dank months. June freedom meant our lives were free and easy.
Juneteenth and Pride
Today, June Freedom encompasses two June celebrations. One person I asked said this: “Pride is all about June Freedom. Freedom to be who you truly are and love who you truly love.” Another replied that June Freedom means “Juneteenth, the day the Emancipation Proclamation came to Galveston, Texas, and the enslaved learned that they were free. That’s June Freedom.”
I can’t help but start humming Jon Batiste’s song Freedom:
When I move my body just like this
I don’t know why but I feel like freedom (yeah)
I hear a song that takes me back (I know)
And I let go with so much freedom (hey)
Free to live (how I wanna live)
I’ma get (where I’m gonna get)
’Cause it’s my freedom . . .
Conflict Resolution and Freedom
One of my favorite thinkers about conflict resolution, Tammy Lenski, has written about freedom and conflict. She has chronicled her experience with college students arriving to her course on the first day. Tammy recounts this conversation:
“What do you most want when you’re stuck in conflict?”
Finally, all the jargon falls away and meaningful goals emerge:
“To be proud of how I’m behaving.”
“To keep my wits about me.”
“Not to be taken advantage of.”
“To know how to get unstuck.”
“Not to cause damage.”
“To walk away with peace of mind.”
“To be able to move on.”
“To be free of it . . . ”
Here at the mediation program, we see many clients who have similar reactions. At the end of a mediation, after a positive outcome, the expression of relief and pride on a client’s face is a form of freedom. Conflict weighs on everyone causing stress, fear, and shutdown. It’s nice to be free of it, as the student says above. Participants leave our courses with conflict resolution toolboxes, “I’m going to use this in my daily life. Thanks.”
Although we don’t often put it in these exact terms, in mediation we as mediators are often monitoring degrees of each participant’s freedom. We look for power imbalances, past traumas, indications of self-censorship, and behavior that diminishes either participant. Our goal is to create, at least for a short few moments, a relatively equal playing field, where mediation participants can speak openly and candidly about their perspectives.
Summer Freedom
Back in the summer days of my youth, in Western New York, it is dusk. We have come up with a great idea. We should catch the fireflies that are lighting up the night like stars that fell to earth. We run around, bumping into each other, trying hard to put a firefly into a jar. Finally, we do manage to catch one. Our own living flashlight.
The firefly bangs against the glass walls of the jar and the light dims. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Simultaneously we say— “Let it free.” My friend grabs the lid, opens it. We are waiting for the firefly to take off. Then the jar is empty. The firefly’s freedom is in question. We look around for its light and can’t be sure. There are some dancing fireflies in front of us, but it’s hard in the dark of the evening to figure out if the firefly we captured is anywhere. Our young minds grapple with the situation. Did it live? Do we see it still? Maybe it is right there shining brightly. Maybe not.
Longer version of Mediator Musings with mention of the Supreme Court, Flags and the pandemic. Read it here.