Thrum. Thrum. Bong. Bong. Step. Step. The sounds of the Queen of England’s funeral events had a somber musical score to match the occasion. A riveting theme for Britain and around the world. Throngs of well-wishers lined the avenues. Some commented that, despite the deep divides in that county and the vestiges of the colonial empire, the event of her death was uniting. At least for a historical moment.

Conflict resolution techniques are not manipulation or coercion. In fact they are the opposite. When we teach a new approach such as question construction or detecting interests, better listening techniques, or using neutral language it's not to work on the other person. We are working on ourselves. Building our tool box. Expanding our repertoire. Taking responsibility for our own part in the conflict and in making the world around us a better place.

Conflicts are not always fully resolved by an apology. A good apology, though, can go a long way toward building trust when a personal connection has gone in the wrong direction. Mediators and conflict coaches hear about apologies quite a bit.