It is really hard to apologize well, to gather your thoughts, become humble, show genuine remorse and to communicate your 'I'm sorry' effectively.

We've been taught to think of most things in terms of the binary: Right • Wrong, Wonderful • Despicable, Angelic • Devilish, Acceptable • Unacceptable. Oftentimes, our instinct is to choose a binary side -- calling something good or bad: 'beets are SO good!' or 'no way, I CAN'T STAND collared shirts.' 

We tend to treat people and problems as one and the same. It is easy to conflate challenging conflicts and people. But, strong conflict resolvers know that this is a mistake.

The bigger the conflict...the slower your roll. Sometimes your first instinct is to act quickly. Nip it in the bud. Cut to the chase. 1,2,3 and done. And yes, if the situation is a safety or existential issue, then quicker might be better.