My son was two and playing on the sidewalk with the other kids. Laura, the next-door neighbor, jiggled her one-year-old. “I think for the first time in over two years,” I said, “I might not be overwhelmingly tired.” She replied, “I’m hoping to have that feeling soon, I’m just so exhausted!” As I recall early parenthood, I can still today feel the memory in my body and mind and spirit stretched so thinly, so precariously surviving, yearning for something out of reach.
Rain has been around a lot longer than humans. Sun, too. As long as our species has existed there has been weather, and people have found lots of different ways to handle it.
It’s rough out there. Wars, atrocities, mass shootings, global warming, toxic polarization, free-floating anger and anxiety. As I talk to people around me, I find many are distracted and off-center.
The misunderstandings, assumptions and judgments between generations cause some real conflicts. It is natural for people to believe the way they were raised, the time they grew up and the standards they considered as the norm are superior to other generations’ ways of being. Just like my grandmother and her hand-cranked dryer, it is hard to adopt to new ways.
For years my pin code was 2012—don’t worry I’ve changed it long ago. 2012 would be the mark of 30 years as a city educator, I would be the minimum age 55, eligible to retire and begin collecting my pension. The year seemed far, far away and then came astoundingly fast. On my birthday in 2012 I was prepared. My volunteer projects, PhD program, redecorating, search for a vacation home, dogs and family were sure to keep me busy.
Money. It’s likely to bring up immediate reactions. I’ve had a mixed-status life regarding attitudes about money. One of my parents came from the hands-off, polite-people-don’t-discuss money perspective. The other parent saw discussing money as fair game––“I got this at fifty percent off on sale!” As a teen I became aware of friends whose lives were impacted by the ever-present stressors of generational and situational poverty. In my twenties I was part of a collective where pooling our money was expected: What’s mine is yours.
Housing is a core unresolved conflict here on Martha’s Vineyard. That’s why we are so pleased to support Healthy Aging MV with their new initiative called Home Sharing. We will be providing Facilitation and Conflict Coaching services for Healthy Aging participants as the host and guest work out mutually agreeable terms for sharing a home.
